Business Networking – Why It’s Not About You

Networking – there’s a term often used in small business marketing circles. Any business owner or independent professional who seeks to foster business via referral has likely been on the networking circuit.

There is no doubt that building a strong and vibrant network yields real benefits to a small business. However it isn’t something that “just happens” and effective networkers invest a lot of time in building their business circle.

What is the single biggest issue in Networking? it is something of a paradox but it is this: Networking isn’t about You. On the face of it that sounds counter-intuitive. It must be about you because how else are people going to find out who you are, what you do and how you can help them?

There are a lot of reasons to get into a mindset that shifts the focus from YOU to YOUR PROSPECTS.

1. People don’t care about you – that’s extreme but the point is that they are primarily concerned about themselves. Specifically everyone is dealing with issues, challenges and problems. They are looking for solutions to those things and are interested in how you might help them.
2. Talking about yourself is a turn off – most people don’t want to listen to an endless list of what makes you great. Refer back to point 1. It may seem as though you will only get people to understand you by explaining in detail what you do. It isn’t so. Unless your conversation partner thinks you are interested in them, they will not be interested in your stuff. It works both ways.
3. Listening closely confers expertise – listening to others is very flattering. Most people are not listened to closely enough in a typical day. When you listen and ask pertinent questions, you will be seen as sympathetic, empathetic and interested in them. This will almost always be reciprocated and they will be interested in you. Effective listening is truly a rare skill. You will be seen as a expert simply by paying close attention and asking perceptive questions.
4. Expertise in people is key – the expertise credits you gain are as a person rather than a technical or functional expert and that is worth much more. When people realize that you understand them and their challenges you have a relationship. They will want you in their network long term, rather than just to solve their immediate problem.  

Keeping the focus on the other person is by far the most important networking mindset. It also takes the pressure off you to be in sales mode. By cultivating a genuine interest in other people you will be more successful but also will not have to be overcoming objections, looking to close people, be seem as a self-serving sales person. That is the foundation of trust and reciprocal interest.